UpLate

Hello All,

I come to you hoping to get some closure on an experience that I recently had… (standard stuff; I’m sure you’ve heard it before - really sorry for the length.)

Context: average looking, clean cut, 26yr old, no ring, no gf.

I was recently in New York City on business for two days. My initial plan was to try and catch a Broadway show but much to my surprise, most of Broadway is closed on Mondays. So, I decided to venture out of my hotel in search of dinner, as I walked up the sidewalk maybe 50 yards from my hotel there was a canopy and entrance for a “gentleman’s club” and restaurant. I peered through the entrance as I walked past with curiosity.

As you see ladies and gentlemen, I have never been in a strip club, nor have I set foot in anything that resembles a strip club. I had always wanted to, just never got around to it. To make a long story shorter I decided to enter the club on the way back to my hotel, 8:30pm. I had not eaten yet so what the hell right? It was literally just me in the place for a good hour or so. I was contemplating leaving when a very nice girl sat down beside me, needless to say I was uncomfortable since I got there.

She was very friendly and open. She mentioned her name, but then also mentioned that she had been know by another name at some point. The bartender was nice enough to signal to me to buy her a drink because it was clear that I had no clue what I was doing. She told me about her day job at a spa and her print work on the side as an artist/designer. I myself am a web designer so we talked about the tools we use, both have two Macs, etc. She asked if I was married and in the same breath noted that I had no ring on my finger. She asked about a girlfriend, to which I responded no. When she asked why I had no girlfriend I responded with simply, “well I’m working on paying on school loans and until I get that taken care of I don’t think I’d be of much use.” …and odd response I know but I was a little taken by the question; I don’t have an answer for myself let alone her! She told me a little bit about the club and what goes on. The actual stage area was in a room behind the restaurant. They announced that the dancers would be getting started in a short while. She invited me to go back and watch. I really didn’t have any cash on me because dinner freakin’ cost me $50 for just myself. I told her that I didn’t really know the etiquette and that I would need to get more money.

She gave my name to the bouncer so that he would let me back in. I returned and went back to the stage area, sat down and got a beer. Shortly after she came out and sat down with me and let me know that I had just missed her on stage. I was disappointed because I wanted to see her dance. She sat with me for another 15 or 20 minutes and we talked a bit. Realizing that I was keeping her from making money on lap danced I told her to go. A minute or two went by and she said that “since you’ve never been to a club before I’ll leave you for a bit so that you can get marauded by the other girls.” And so she left to work another table. I watched the stage mostly. No one really came up to me at first, and then eventually a few did. I politely turned them down. By comparison, they must have been high or something because most of them were very strange in terms of social interaction I thought. It was like they were burnt our or something.

After a little while, the girl came back and asked my thoughts. I told her, and we talked a little more. Eventually, I said that I’d like two lap dances (apparently flat rate per song). She did that (OUTSTANDING!) and then she sat with me a little while longer and we talked. Part of the conversation was about how I missed her dance. Eventually she excused herself to go touch up her makeup, when she came back she said that she had asked the DJ to bump her up and that she picked a couple of songs that I would like based on our discussion of our similar music tastes. (80’s stuff). Just before she left to go up on stage, I asked her if I could have one more lap dance when she was finished. This to which she smiled and replied “I like you!”. She was of course OUTSTANDING on stage. When she got back we again talked for maybe another 10-15 minutes until Shaggy’s Bombastic came on; to which I exclaimed “I love this song!” and she said “would you like me to dance to this?”. Me: “yeah!”. I had only asked for one song, she went on for roughly two and a half. When she was finished, she put her clothes back on and sat on my lap. I noted to her that that was more than just one song, I thanked her and told her that folded among the bills (enough for two dances) was a business with my personal info on it. I told her that I fix apple computers on the side and that if she ever needed anything I’d be happy to help her no strings attached. I also told her at this point that I was completely out of money – I was, I had nothing left (in total she got $80). She replied “I’m sorry that I robbed you of all your money.” To which I said, “it was COMPLETELY worth it, thank you!”. Her: “hahaha, that’s awesome.”.

The part in question: After that she continued to sit on my lap. She talked about her job at the spa, told me about what kind of car she drives and how she got it. She told me that she was originally from upstate NY – a farm girl, and that her natural hair color is red. She went to nursing school for a time, (a story that the said she uses on guys and also tells them she is 22.) She asked my age, I said “how old do you think I am?” Her: “I can’t tell. I’m 27, 1981”. Me: “26, 1982.” We continued to talk. I had to go to the bathroom a couple of times (had a lot to drink) and she waited for me to come back each time. She sat on my right leg for a while leaning up against my chest, and switched to the other side after about an hour. We continued to talk about traveling, stuff we were involved in during high school. How attractive the other strippers were. How she approaches various tables. He birds, her tattoos. She even slipped up and said her real name while telling me a story of when an apartment-mate got locked out of the building.

All told, she probably sat there sitting/laying on me for an hour and a half as we talked. The DJ called her name and she had to go. I decided at this point to say good bye. It was 1:30am and I had a meeting in the morning. Honestly, I could have sat there all night with her – we were getting along great! I mentioned once or twice during the hour and a half that she did not have to sit there with me. …but she did. As I left, it felt a little awkward. She hugged me, and I made sure to give her a decent squeeze. I said thank you once again and then walked out.

The problem is, I’ve never been in a strip club before… my brain tells me that its all fake and she probably didn’t really like me. However, I have a hard time accepting the fact that this is normal behavior. She actually gave me enough information that if I wanted to, I could probably get a hold of her. Can I have everyone’s thoughts on this – its driving me nuts and I honestly wish that she could tell me to my face “I don’t actually like you.” Because, in the real world, if you were to spend that much time with someone just talking, you would probably make an effort to see each other again.