Sometimes its hard to figure out why strippers approach some people more than others. If you really want to read up on why they do the things they do, check out stripperweb.com. Go to the forums area and read up. Many dancers post there, and you can learn alot about them.Some of the things they post are quite revealing.
I have no idea what you look like, but it seems like you are being really hard on yourself - remember...we are each our own worst critic. How do you do with women when you go to a regular bar? Or @ school? If you are just looking for someone to stroke your ego and tell you nice things, then a stripclub is perfect for that. As long as you recognize that and accept it, you'll do fine. But it is the absolute WRONG place to look for real validation, since everything in the club is based on fantasy.