UpLate

Hello All,

I come to you hoping to get some closure on an experience that I recently had… (standard stuff; I’m sure you’ve heard it before - really sorry for the length.)

Context: average looking, clean cut, 26yr old, no ring, no gf.

I was recently in New York City on business for two days. My initial plan was to try and catch a Broadway show but much to my surprise, most of Broadway is closed on Mondays. So, I decided to venture out of my hotel in search of dinner, as I walked up the sidewalk maybe 50 yards from my hotel there was a canopy and entrance for a “gentleman’s club” and restaurant. I peered through the entrance as I walked past with curiosity.

As you see ladies and gentlemen, I have never been in a strip club, nor have I set foot in anything that resembles a strip club. I had always wanted to, just never got around to it. To make a long story shorter I decided to enter the club on the way back to my hotel, 8:30pm. I had not eaten yet so what the hell right? It was literally just me in the place for a good hour or so. I was contemplating leaving when a very nice girl sat down beside me, needless to say I was uncomfortable since I got there.

She was very friendly and open. She mentioned her name, but then also mentioned that she had been know by another name at some point. The bartender was nice enough to signal to me to buy her a drink because it was clear that I had no clue what I was doing. She told me about her day job at a spa and her print work on the side as an artist/designer. I myself am a web designer so we talked about the tools we use, both have two Macs, etc. She asked if I was married and in the same breath noted that I had no ring on my finger. She asked about a girlfriend, to which I responded no. When she asked why I had no girlfriend I responded with simply, “well I’m working on paying on school loans and until I get that taken care of I don’t think I’d be of much use.” …and odd response I know but I was a little taken by the question; I don’t have an answer for myself let alone her! She told me a little bit about the club and what goes on. The actual stage area was in a room behind the restaurant. They announced that the dancers would be getting started in a short while. She invited me to go back and watch. I really didn’t have any cash on me because dinner freakin’ cost me $50 for just myself. I told her that I didn’t really know the etiquette and that I would need to get more money.

She gave my name to the bouncer so that he would let me back in. I returned and went back to the stage area, sat down and got a beer. Shortly after she came out and sat down with me and let me know that I had just missed her on stage. I was disappointed because I wanted to see her dance. She sat with me for another 15 or 20 minutes and we talked a bit. Realizing that I was keeping her from making money on lap danced I told her to go. A minute or two went by and she said that “since you’ve never been to a club before I’ll leave you for a bit so that you can get marauded by the other girls.” And so she left to work another table. I watched the stage mostly. No one really came up to me at first, and then eventually a few did. I politely turned them down. By comparison, they must have been high or something because most of them were very strange in terms of social interaction I thought. It was like they were burnt our or something.

After a little while, the girl came back and asked my thoughts. I told her, and we talked a little more. Eventually, I said that I’d like two lap dances (apparently flat rate per song). She did that (OUTSTANDING!) and then she sat with me a little while longer and we talked. Part of the conversation was about how I missed her dance. Eventually she excused herself to go touch up her makeup, when she came back she said that she had asked the DJ to bump her up and that she picked a couple of songs that I would like based on our discussion of our similar music tastes. (80’s stuff). Just before she left to go up on stage, I asked her if I could have one more lap dance when she was finished. This to which she smiled and replied “I like you!”. She was of course OUTSTANDING on stage. When she got back we again talked for maybe another 10-15 minutes until Shaggy’s Bombastic came on; to which I exclaimed “I love this song!” and she said “would you like me to dance to this?”. Me: “yeah!”. I had only asked for one song, she went on for roughly two and a half. When she was finished, she put her clothes back on and sat on my lap. I noted to her that that was more than just one song, I thanked her and told her that folded among the bills (enough for two dances) was a business with my personal info on it. I told her that I fix apple computers on the side and that if she ever needed anything I’d be happy to help her no strings attached. I also told her at this point that I was completely out of money – I was, I had nothing left (in total she got $80). She replied “I’m sorry that I robbed you of all your money.” To which I said, “it was COMPLETELY worth it, thank you!”. Her: “hahaha, that’s awesome.”.

The part in question: After that she continued to sit on my lap. She talked about her job at the spa, told me about what kind of car she drives and how she got it. She told me that she was originally from upstate NY – a farm girl, and that her natural hair color is red. She went to nursing school for a time, (a story that the said she uses on guys and also tells them she is 22.) She asked my age, I said “how old do you think I am?” Her: “I can’t tell. I’m 27, 1981”. Me: “26, 1982.” We continued to talk. I had to go to the bathroom a couple of times (had a lot to drink) and she waited for me to come back each time. She sat on my right leg for a while leaning up against my chest, and switched to the other side after about an hour. We continued to talk about traveling, stuff we were involved in during high school. How attractive the other strippers were. How she approaches various tables. He birds, her tattoos. She even slipped up and said her real name while telling me a story of when an apartment-mate got locked out of the building.

All told, she probably sat there sitting/laying on me for an hour and a half as we talked. The DJ called her name and she had to go. I decided at this point to say good bye. It was 1:30am and I had a meeting in the morning. Honestly, I could have sat there all night with her – we were getting along great! I mentioned once or twice during the hour and a half that she did not have to sit there with me. …but she did. As I left, it felt a little awkward. She hugged me, and I made sure to give her a decent squeeze. I said thank you once again and then walked out.

The problem is, I’ve never been in a strip club before… my brain tells me that its all fake and she probably didn’t really like me. However, I have a hard time accepting the fact that this is normal behavior. She actually gave me enough information that if I wanted to, I could probably get a hold of her. Can I have everyone’s thoughts on this – its driving me nuts and I honestly wish that she could tell me to my face “I don’t actually like you.” Because, in the real world, if you were to spend that much time with someone just talking, you would probably make an effort to see each other again.

lopaw

UpLate,

Since this was the first time you've been in a stripclub, it's not that unusual for you to be confused about a stripper's real motives and feelings. With VERY few exceptions, her motives are MONEY. Your story is not unusual. Most strippers are very good at their job, which is to make you feel special and attractive. They also make you wonder if they REALLY like you. This way you come back again to spend more money on them. It's their livelihood. It's their JOB.

Stripclubs are there to provide us with a temporary fantasy world with the girl of our dreams. But it is a FANTASY for you and a JOB for her. As long as you follow that mindset you'll do ok.

UpLate

lopaw,

Thanks for the reply. I knew going in that they would more or less be getting me to like them but with nothing to compare it to I really had no way of telling. I thought that perhaps the level of detail she gave me about her personal life made me different in some way. I'm convinced that what she told me was all true but it was probably because she felt comfortable enough to not bother making stuff up. Not that it necessarily means she actually liked me. Anyway, thanks again for weighing in. I doubt I'll make a habit of going to clubs because I'm the type that would surely think every tie that the dancer liked me... and such an addiction could get expensive!

lopaw

Good reply, Madam.
But for the record....I am a woman. A woman customer.

Does that throw a different spin to your analysis?

UpLate

Madam, thanks for the insight. I wrote the post to mentally "debrief". An experience like that, which is out of the ordinary for me, has its way of lingering one's conscious for days and that was my way of getting it out! I certainly tried my best to have no expectations, and have tried to keep it that way in my head. Thanks for your support.

To answer your question about me being ok with her chosen profession... well funny you should ask because I asked myself the same thing shortly afterwards. Because this is hypothetical it is certainly easy to say yes... but honestly I don't know. HOWEVER, there are a couple of things about her in particular that made me think that I could:

1st - If thats how I met her then, it wouldn't be fair for me to expect anything different of her. I think I would prefer someone to be themselves rather than someone they aren't... anytime a stress such as that is unnecessarily introduced into a relationship it surely would cause a failure.

2nd - She really seemed quite loyal. She waited for me numerous times upon excusing myself, or returned after excusing herself. She went to the dj and picked out music that she thought I would like as she danced to on stage and like I said, she sat with me for quite a while even though she did not have to... So, in that context I think I'd be able to trust her. But, realistically, I'm probably as crazy as the next guy. At least I'm aware of it! I've gotten over the whole idea though ...but if she were to actually call me I'd be tickled!

lopaw

Madam,

I've been a club "junkie" for about 8 years now. There are 3 or 4 clubs near me that I frequent on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. I'm pretty much a regular at these clubs, and prefer the dayshift (so I can have the girls all to myself!).

I'm active on several other stripper boards, mainly because I like to throw in the "female customer" perspective from time to time. Unless there are gender indicators on the site, everyone assumes when I post that I'm a guy. I guess I am quite the rarity!

regards
lopaw

Mr. Nice Guy

Agreed. Just forget about her man.

__________________
I like helping people regardless of who it is.

UpLate

I find the polarity of these responses rather interesting... lopaw, and Mr. Nice Guy say simply "forget about it" and Madam and beachbabe seem to think that there is something worth looking in to. I guess differing experiences will cause that.

Beachbabe, thanks for the vote of confidence. I find it interesting that you say I seem like a nice guy because, we all know what happens to them! :-) Both you and Madam suggested going back to the club, I feel like that would be a little creepy though. I live about a three hour drive from NYC so actually getting back to that club would be an investment in and of it self. But you're right if it worked out it would be just like a movie!

Although, since she told me where she works and (accidentally) told me her real name, I could probably send a letter or something but... of course, that could be equally as strange. As I mentioned, I did give her my number but, when I did, I qualified it with "I fix Apple computers, if you ever have a problem give me a call. No strings attached." ...At this point it's been about a month anyway so I don't know if it would really be worth it to try anything.

That being said, I do appreciate all the discussion that you have all contributed to. The experience along with any expectations on my part I do realize are fantasy. I think often times people get into trouble when they try and find reality in what is ultimately fantasy. Realizing that, I came to this forum and posted my story knowing that just getting it out and discussing it would help me. I certainly couldn't have shared my experience with the people in my every-day life! So thanks!

UpLate

Ok, ok ok ok... this whole thing has been out of my head for the most part HOWEVER... I was bored doodling around on facebook today and I am about 80% sure that I found the stripper that I mentioned in my giant post that started this whole thread. ...I understand that this is probably the creepiest thing a person could possibly do. My question is: Should I do anything after having found this info?

seekr34

Each girl is different although most seem to be there just for the money. However, she hung out with you even when you had no money left for more dances, it shows that she does have an interest in you. Many would go off to another customer once the former is done giving her money.

Now, as for creepiest thing she could do, exactly what did she do? I think I missed something.